A conversation overheard…

Female 1 voice: “What the fuck, Dad?”

Male voice: “Watch your tongue girl.”

Female 2 voice: “Seriously father, have you taken leave of your senses”

Male voice: “I don’t see the problem.”

Female 1 voice: “Course you don’t Dad. ‘Cos you’re using the little head to do the thinking again.”

Male voice: “I won’t tell you again. Get a  civil tongue in your head, or leave.”

Female 1 voice: “Sure Dad. Because I’m sure SHE has a very civil tongue when it’s half way down your throat, or wrapped round your …”

Sound of a slap. Pause

Female 1 voice: “I do not believe you just did that. Really?”

Female 2 voice: “You have to admit father, she is totally caustic. How can you possibly think this is a good idea?”

Female 1 voice: “That’s not too difficult to puzzle out. She’s a slut who probably gets off on being slapped when she talks out of turn. Dad’s clearly into that now.”

Male voice: “There is nothing wrong with her. Why can’t you two see that? She has impeccable genetics from an ancient line, a valid claim on to an objective we’ve just been cheated out of obtaining, and I will admit she’s as hot as Mount Vesuvius.”

Female 2 voice: “And she’s the biggest liar in all existence. Let’s not forget that.”

Female 1 voice: “Dad’s not interested in the fact that she’s so full of bullshit, that she oozes it. He’s hung up on how HOT she is. You do realise that she’s only had 3 less kids than you have Dad?”

Male voice: “So – she’s demonstrated her willingness to provide heirs.”

Female 1 voice: “Yeah, but yours were with 8 women. Hers were with 14 men. She’s a slut, Dad, who will go with anyone who looks like they might prove useful to her in the short term.”

Female 2 voice: “And don’t forget that you’ve been there before. She was the reason Mommy divorced you all those years ago.”

Female 1 voice: “That’s right! And then once she had what she wanted that time, she kicked your ass out and went back to her Daddy. And we’ve since learned that she’d had your Dad, Gramps, and his older brother before she even got around to you.”

Female 2 voice: “You have to admit father, she does seem a little well used.”

Male voice: “Look, it’s none of your business who I go out with. She’s a vibrant, potent woman with ambition and political acumen, and I feel complimented that she’s interested in getting back together again after all these years.”

Female 1 voice: “Dad, she’s a slut who has eyes on the railroad to the the Golden Throne, and all she wants is to pull the train most likely to get her there. Even if she has you as the engine at the head, I’ll lay odds that there’ll be plenty of other cars in the line before she gets there. It’s not like her last marriage wouldn’t have given her ample training for that kind of thing.”

Female 2 voice: “And father, she’ll look you in the eye and tell you that there’s nobody else, and you’ll believe her.”

Female 1 voice: “That’s right. Because she’s the biggest liar in all existence. Let’s not forget that.”

Male voice: “I don’t need your approval to court a woman, any more than either of you need my approval for your dalliances. You’re both grown up now, and get to make your choices, and I’ll thank you to leave me to make mine. And my choice is to go out to dinner with my former mistress, who has got back in touch again. So don’t wait up!”