Tim’s Golden Rules for role play

Hi all,

I feel a need to say a few things about role play. Particularly about role playing disagreements. It’s not easy.

In a face to face game, arguments can make for hugely intense sessions. But not everybody copes with that level of intensity well. Nevertheless, when you’re actually there, you have all the behavioural and visual clues as to whether it is still just a game or whether lines are being crossed. Also – there’s a bunch of other players there and a GM to help moderate, so that things usually don’t go off the rails. Sometimes it happens, but it’s relatively rare.

On e-mail, wikis and forums, none of that happens. You can’t see the other person. You have nobody else there. Very often the words written can be read multiple ways. When the sparks start flying, there’s a big chance that the way you read something was quite different from what the person writing it meant. You get caught up in it, and read something that lights a fuse, and hit reply immediately to blast off a response and suddenly – there’s a thread twenty messages deep and people who used to be friends are starting to not be friends any more.

I say it a lot, and I’ll keep on saying it because it keeps on needing to be said. My golden rule for electronic gaming – NEVER reply to anything that actually makes you angry the same day it arrives. It’s that simple. Take a day. Take the heat out of it. Have time to think about it and if you give it time, you have a chance to wind down the aggression. The GM and the other players have a chance to actually get in and perhaps help defuse things.

Same rule is well worth applying in real life e-mail too. It does no harm to step back and wait rather than blasting off a reply. 95% of the flame wars I have ever seen on newsgroups, forums or anywhere have usually been lit, smouldered and exploded within a 12 hour period.

Just slow it down. It’s a game. It’s supposed to be fun. It’s definitely not worth risking losing friends over.

[End GM Soapbox]